RB
Elusive, mysterious Raymond Beluga, as allegedly last seen on the Professor Gul Nakhchyvan ferry bound for the port of Neka in August 2004. (Photograph courtesy of Mr. P. J. Goss)

Raymond G. Beluga: A mystery in progress

(b. Budapest,1934?) founded Raymond Beluga Studio (RBS) in 2003.

Elusive, mysterious Raymond Beluga, as allegedly last seen on the Professor Gul Nakhchyvan ferry bound for the port of Neka in August 2004. (Photograph courtesy of Mr. P. J. Goss)

Formerly a renowned film producer in his native Hungary, Mr. Beluga has been a man of many hats and has triggered as many sentiments. Loved and hated by men, women, and dogs alike, one of the Tanner brothers once described him as a “shady producer with deposits of fat and tar”.

After many years of leading a quiet film-less life albeit filled with speculations of the worst sort which we won’t waste saliva on, Raymond Beluga reappeared almost like in a film noir, in the lives of filmmakers Michael Mills and Ruben Guzman in December 2003. From Sanzibar, Iran, Mr. Beluga sent these independent filmmakers a telegram containing a proposal whose content we are not in the position to disclose.

Filmography


"Eltûnve Vele a Szélmalom" (1966)
(Gone with the Windmill)

Produced and directed by Raymond Beluga
With:
Jackie Gleason (as Sancho Panza)
Vincent Price (as Don Quixote)
Vera Miles (Dulcinea del Toboso)


sanz
Sabzevar, Iran
(Photograph courtesy of Mr. Roberto Walser)

It should suffice to say that MM and RG are the only employees of Mr. Beluga’s company and do have limited decision-making powers. We do, however, deny all versions alleging Mr. Beluga’s money laundering activities through RBS. Furthermore, we strongly condemn those who have defined Mr. Beluga as a “shady arms magnate”. We do acknowledge, however, that Mr. Beluga himself is rarely seen and wouldn’t wish to attract attention. The irregular “board meetings”, if we may call it that way, are held in a dark room in which Mr. Beluga sits behind a heavy curtain, smoking his Cuban cigars (that’s why these meetings cannot take place in our New York office). At any rate, all he ever leaves behind is empty bottles of Unicums, chocolate wrapping, foul-smelling cigar butts and sometimes even used condoms.

Filmmakers Mr. Mills and Mr. Guzman shall continue to pledge devotion to Mr. Beluga until the end of their faustian contract with Raymond Beluga Studio.